My life experiences thus far have shown me that humans, while so different, in many ways are quite alike, and all very interesting. The chance to connect with anyone, even a stranger, for only a minute holds the possibility of being life changing.
Between the years of 2007 and 2011, I followed my boyfriend at the time from Small Town, WI to Sanford, Florida. The beginning of our relationship was a whirlwind. Not too long before we started dating he had broken up with his girlfriend of 3+ years, and I had finally ended a very abusive relationship. We met through my cousin and within a couple weeks of first meeting, around Christmas, we began dating.
We had only been together a few weeks when he told me that it had been his life-long dream (he was 25, I was 20) to be an airline pilot, but never felt the support of his girlfriend at the time, and had never had enough confidence to just go for it. But now, he was going to do it. I supported it. I was quite excited for him, and while I liked him a lot, our relationship was so new, neither of us were too seriously invested. Our own lives were our priorities. He told me he’d be moving to Florida within a month or so.
About a week or 2 after him breaking the news, we went for a walk around his neighborhood. He asked me to move to Florida with him. He was wonderful, I was young and had never lived outside of Wisconsin, or done anything so....big! So, I said “Why not?!” and we both said if it doesn’t work out, it doesn’t work out. By the time we had been dating for 6 weeks, he moved. I stayed behind to work and save money for another 6 weeks.
While Florida may not seem too far or very different, it was a bit of a culture shock for me. I was used to the small town life, knowing everyone, keeping my doors unlocked...our first night together there he took me for a ride on his motorcycle. My first time. He was one of those men with a compass built into his nose. Navigating his way by the sun and the stars. We were riding along on some back roads in the Ocala National Forest when we saw something amazing in the sky. A shiny metallic object flying higher and higher into the sky. Fire and a huge line of white smoke attached as a tail. We stopped in the parking lot of a gas station to watch our first (of many) Space Shuttle leave our atmosphere. A breathtaking sight.
As we sat there, taking it all in, smiling and so excited, we are interrupted by a car suddenly pulling up to the front door of the gas station, a guy runs out leaving it running, runs into the store, runs back out with a 6pack of beer, drives off with tires squealing, and the owner running out, yelling, scissors in one hand, a portable phone in the other. This was our first (also of many) time we ever saw a robbery, let alone any crime in general. (We stayed long enough where a retail store I worked for was robbed of clothes on a near-daily basis, where we locked the doors during the day while we were at home without even thinking about it, and when Casey Anthony “lost” her daughter....Florida soon became a place like no other.)
One day, one of my favorite experiences not only of living in Florida but of my entire life thus far, took place at a Publix. Now if you know me, you know I have a severe distaste for grocery shopping. I just don’t like it. But one day, after hearing how great the Publix stores are (seriously, how “great” can a grocery store be??!?! ...well....they need those stores everywhere because they. are. wonderful. !! (Although Woodman’s and Festival Foods here in WI are pretty great too)) we decided to do our shopping there. Now, another thing to know about me is that I rarely have any sense of “stranger danger”. I’m quite comfortable with striking up a conversation with any random person in the vicinity. While we were in the checkout line, I noticed the older gentleman behind me was wearing a Green Bay Packers hat. HELL YES! I am not only PROUD to be from WISCONSIN, I am PROUD to be a PACKER-backer CHEESEHEAD through and through. So, of course, like a giddy little girl I turn to him and say, “Awesome hat! I’m from Wisconsin!” And do you know how that man replied??!? He said to me, “Thanks, I used to play for the Packers”.
Well my jaw dropped and I somehow became even more giddy (and goofy) than before. “OH MY GOD who are you?!?” I asked while extending my hand for a shake. “Gene Breen” he said, “I played in ’64 with Bart Starr”. After telling him how amazing that was, as if he didn’t know, he told me he’d always consider himself a Packer, and them to be his team. “It’s a great organization and a great state.” It was then that I realized this was THE ONE TIME I had left my camera and phone at home. But even without the physical proof of this memory, this is one I will never forget. I walked out of that store just beaming. The coolest person I had met, hands down. So nice, so humble, so proud of this great thing he was once a part of that he will always feel part of it. ((Later I concluded that due to “A+B=B+C means A=C” transitive property or something (I hate math.), since I shook his hand, he on many occasions shook/high-fived Bart Starr’s hand, I have, therefore, touched Bart Starr’s hand (just let a girl dream her dream).)) And we had a connection. Something so seemingly simple as a logo on a hat turned out to be something so big for both of us. Two strangers, one love. And then we both turned and walked along and moved on with our lives.
What I am trying to convey with this story, is that other people come in and out of our lives. Sometimes their presence is fleeting, sometimes it becomes permanent. Never be afraid to reach out. Always be kind. Make a connection, be it with a smile, a compliment, or even a proposal for a first date. The world is full of a lot of people. All different, and all alike. You never know the impact a personal encounter can hold...where in the world it can take you, what of the world it can teach you. Humans, can be, beautiful creatures. Let’s not let each other forget it.
A day is only bad if we aren’t able to laugh at any of the mishaps.
The last couple of days have been so full of mishaps, it is impossible for me to not laugh, and also impossible for me not to share. So please, laugh along.
As I mentioned in an earlier blog, I recently returned to college after somewhat of a hiatus. I had been crazy bag of emotions in the days leading up to my first day, but this past Monday I woke up ready to take it all on. Deep breath in, several cups of coffee, and I even ate breakfast which is a rare thing for me to do. I checked my schedule about 1.7 MILLION times. I did my hair (another rarity). I. WAS. READY.
I arrived on campus 30 minutes early. This was perfect, I thought! I went to my first building, found my classroom, and went around the corner to the cafe/lounge area and relaxed with another cup of coffee. About 10 minutes before class many people started crowding around the door. My first class was in a large auditorium with a set of doors on each side of the room for smooth traffic flow. I got up and proceeded to wait with the masses for the previous class to finish and exit. I overheard a student near me ask another, “What room are you in?” to which the other replied, “Right here, 1309”. Fantastic. Just another confirmation I was in the right place. Finally the doors opened and soon we all begin piling in, sitting down, pens and notebooks ready. Here I am! I am back!
I sat towards the front, in the middle of the row. Within minutes the room was packed. Within a few more minutes the professor begins to speak. She states her name (I hadn’t really bothered to look at the names of my instructors), gives a little information about herself and starts to talk about the basic expectations of the class and us as students. After a couple minutes, and once the projection screen finally showed the class name and number, I had that sick, sinking feeling. I’m in the wrong freaking class. I sneak a look at my schedule, still positive I was in the right room. I saw the sign outside the door! But after a few more words from her mouth, it was confirmed. This was a health class. I definitely didn’t sign up for that one. And here comes the conundrum. I am in the middle of 250 people. Class has been in session 10 minutes. Do I try to quietly gather my things and discretely (yeah right) climb over everyone in my row, exit the room and THEN try to continue being quiet and discrete and enter the correct room...if I can find it? Well this decision took another 5 minutes. The clock is ticking. I am probably twitching. I mean, this is the first day of the semester. People are still switching their schedules around throughout the entire 1st week so it’s normal to miss a class, right? Ugh. Honestly, I said to myself, “Fuck it.” I bit that embarassment bullet and got up and got the hell out of there....head high but eyes to the grown. Luckily I didn’t trip up the stairs. But either way I might as well have been living one of those “naked in front of an audience” dreams.
I got out of the room, and right to the left was another set of doors.....for my correct class. The “1309” sign was slightly closer to those doors than my original set. Cute. So I walk in, luckily during a lull in the class, but sure enough, the professor sees me, waves me up front to pick up the syllabus. I told him I wished I had the excuse of being a tourist in a different country, but I am only just a transfer student who should have stopped at Sesame Street first to review my numbers. He laughed. Class resumed. At the end of it a boy next to me said he didn’t blame me for getting lost, there’s rumors going around the Psych students switch classroom numbers and study the reactions of people. I laughed. All was fine with the world again.
....
Until I went to the bathroom before my 2nd class. Some people leave their coats and backpacks on the floor out by the sinks. I’m still new and awkward and untrusting so I bring my coat, my backpack, my purse and my coffee all in the stall with me. I use the toilet, as all humans do, gather all my stuff and as I walk out of my stall towards the sink, another girl enters the bathroom and walks right into the stall I walked out of....EVERY OTHER STALL IS EMPTY. ((who does that??!?)) As I am drying my hands I immediately realize something is missing. My coffee. It’s in that stall. On the shelf. Behind the toilet in which I hear her urinating. Goodbye almost full venti dark roast. Due to the possibility of the splash effect I must leave you behind. Ugh.
Luckily I made it to my 2nd class, on time and in the right room on the 1st try. The class went well, and by the time it ended my excitement and confidence had returned. My goodness! What a roller coaster of a morning! I walk down the steps, and open the doors to the frigid air and the sun extra-brightly reflecting off of the snow. I turn my backpack around, open the front zipper to pull out my sunglasses, and what do you know. They have snapped in half. If only I had some white tape to repair them I could have rocked the nerd-taped broken glasses look after the day I had been having! But alas, I walked to my car with my eyes squinted.
But I made it. Even with those silly mishaps, I still did it. I took a step toward my goal, and even in the face of fear and embarrassment and frustration, I kept going. And I laughed. A lot. How could I not?!? It was 11:55 am and the morning had been simply ridiculous.
They say things happen in 3’s....so I should be golden for awhile.
Right??!?
Need some extra laughs at someone else’s expense in your day? Follow me on Twitter for more of my Back To School “experiences”.
And don’t forget to laugh.
:)
Education is the movement from darkness to light. ~Allan Bloom
Education is what remains after one has forgotten what one has learned in school. ~Albert Einstein
Education's purpose is to replace an empty mind with an open one. ~Malcolm S. Forbes
Education is not preparation for life; education is life itself. ~John Dewey
Well I have almost survived my first week returning to college after a several year break. Just one more day to go. This return has made its way to #9 on my bucket list; so it is written, so it shall be done. Right??!?
I have a bit of a funny attitude about this return, and I’m sure a Psychologist could analyze it perfectly, but I think I know what’s going on in my head.
As I see it, there are 2 main types of knowledge, or “smarts” we obtain in life: street smarts and book smarts. Things you learn from life experience, and things you learn via reading and being structurally taught in an academic setting. Having both is quite vital to making it in this world. (Trust me, I knew a girl who had perfect grades, but zero common sense....it was astounding to me how intelligent and dumb she was all at once. How she survived outside of the library I will never understand.)
As I am an average of 5-9 years older than the majority of the student body here, it is difficult to not have some sense of arrogance about me, as I have experienced more. I have lived in that “real world” our parents began threatening us with in High School. Why do I need to sit next to anyone who has never filed their own taxes? Paid their own cell phone bill? Gone grocery shopping or chosen to watch a Presidential Speech instead of a reality show? Don’t I know more than them? Shouldn’t I be given an honorary piece of paper stating I paid a lot of money and took a lot of classes? And how come one even needs a piece of paper to prove to employers out there that we are capable and deserving of a career? Why can’t an interview and on-the-job training suffice?
This defiance and defensiveness is mostly based off of fear and self-disappointment. Fear of standing out and not fitting in. It is uncomfortable going to class and sitting alone, while groups of 2 or 3 come in together, knowing each other from the previous semester, having signed up for the class together. Do I look old? I shouldn’t....I am not at the age of wrinkles and I am wearing boots, leggings, a chunky sweater and a scarf JUST LIKE every other female here...maybe if I incorporate catch-phrases like “hashtag yolo” and start taking more selfie’s I’ll be set.
Why am I even worried about this? One advantage I should have with my age is maturity. Self confidence. I should be proud to be me and not care what other people think. The High School popularity contest is long gone. And I’m just here for that piece of paper anyway...right?
So why the self-disappointment? Because I shouldn’t be here right now. I should have been here 5-9 years ago. That piece of paper should be in a dusty frame on the wall in the house I own in Suburbia. Another advantage I should have with my age is acceptance. Understanding that life turned out the way it did and it isn’t too late. The ability to not be debilitated by regret. There is a lot to be said about swallowing one's pride and taking a vulnerable leap.
I’m beginning to see that college, no matter when in your life you attend, is so much more than a piece of paper. Sure, each class you take specific to your major will allow you to be the best you can be in your specific career (how can you be what you want to be if you haven’t learned how to be it?). Yet beyond those “smarts” you get from those books, you need the “smarts” you learn from the elective courses, the diversity you see in the halls, the discipline you learn from simultaneously studying and working, the self-pride you gain when you get an A. That piece of paper isn’t just a gateway into employment, it is a symbol of the journey you took, all the work you put in, everything you experienced, and the person you became. That paper isn’t just a solitary journey. Sure, you did the work and it is solely yours, but during that journey you came across and were affected by many people. We feed off of each other. We learn from each other along with the books. That paper is so much more than ink on a former tree. And eventually, that expensive piece of paper allows you to cross #9 off of your bucket list, and proudly move on to #10.....or #5 because you skipped that one out of fear....and it will feel great.
I also must add, learning never stops. Be it from the books or from the streets, there is always something new to absorb. And I love it. It is part of the excitement of life. And I want to be an advocate of Education. There is substantial evidence showing a correlation between Education and crime/poverty rates. We may never achieve world peace, but if there is anything that can be done to make the world just a little better, even if only in one tiny place, it is worth it. And....as I am going for English Education, I would be the worst offender of hypocrisy if I didn’t complete my education. So, there’s that. ;)
Knowledge is Power!
READ!
Live. Love. Learn.
Remember when you were 13 and everything about you was just...awkward? Full of puberty and emotions and acne? It is known as the awkward stage in life. Well, let me tell you what:
There comes another point in our lives, for most people at least, called the "quarter life crisis". It happens around the ages of 24-27, when we realize we have lost ourselves and must go on the soul-searching journey to find ourselves. The thing is, we don't reconnect with or find the person we used to be, we find the person we ultimately will become.
There are many stages of life, and we can become many different people during those stages. I am 27 and am still in this quarter life crisis stage (I think it may be lasting a bit longer than "normal") and I have never felt so awkward. Uncomfortable. A bit lost. And yet, quite excited! Big things are happening! I am embarking on the path that will lead me down to the rest of my life. Just as everyone else does every single day. No matter the stage in life.
A few years ago, as I was first entering this “quarter life crisis” stage, I thought, even in my awkwardness, that I had figured it all out. I had solved the mathematical equation to life. Recently, I have learned a few more things, one of them being that you never really do figure it ALL out. But here are a few more tidbits, pieces of wisdom that would be wonderful to be born knowing, but seem to be only learned through living.
-- Choose your living quarters wisely: a ceiling fan in the bedroom and living room is a must! (There is little worse than stagnant air) And wood floors are beautiful, but they don't hide dust bunnies. It may feel great to live in a house, but you must first decide if it is worth shoveling, and mowing, and paying to have your fridge repaired. Speaking of repairs, make sure the heat/AC/stove, etc. work. Trust me, they rarely get repaired in a timely manner and you're stuck for weeks sweating/freezing/microwave cooking.
-- Be honest. Not only with others, but especially yourself. Allow yourself to feel what you feel. Don’t hide or avoid your emotions. Confront the tough times head on with a confident and positive-as-possible attitude and you can do anything. Being open with others allows them to help you through it if they can. Accept the help.
-- Not everything works out the way we hope. There will be loss and letdowns and heartbreaks. But there will also be love, and happiness, and sweet surprises. Don’t give up. Keep on moving forward. Believe in life. Believe in yourself.
-- Try new things. It’s ok to be afraid, but it’s even better to conquer your fears. Eat sushi. Go skydiving. Say “hello” to someone new. Go back to school. Move away from home. Wear a different color. Whatever it is, big or small, step out of your comfort zone and experience an unknown part of the world around you. Your eyes will open. Your life will change.
-- Do good. Be good. It’s as simple as that. Be kind. Don’t assume. Don’t judge. Don’t hate someone’s differences, embrace them. Embrace your own. Or accept them and move along civilly. Smile. Say hello. And “please”. And “thank you”. The world will become a much better place.
-- Take care of yourself. Drink water. Eat your vegetables. Get enough sleep. Move around. Brush (and floss!) your teeth. And don’t completely deny yourself of every indulgent happiness; grab a beer, eat some chocolate.
-- Budget. Save. Don’t be frivolous. Again, don’t deny yourself everything you want, but make sure you’re still able to have all you need.
-- We are born into this life tiny and helpless, surviving only by the love and care of our parents. After years of growing in wisdom and gaining strength, we eventually get to the point where we return the favor.
-- Keep calm and have patience. The most difficult virtue to attain. But it keeps you calm. Keeps your levels in check. You cant control everything. Sometimes things are just the way they are. Sometimes you just have to wait. Deal with it.
-- You cant choose love. It chooses for you. Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have. And even though they may love you with all they have doesn't mean it's right.
-- Communicate. Keep in touch. Friends, family, neighbors, whoever. Don’t let someone important to you slip through your fingers. While time alone is sometimes needed, loneliness is so cold and dark. Communication can also be the key to preventing or resolving conflict. Talk. Be open. Uncork the bottle of your thoughts and emotions.
-- Don't leave anything behind. You never know where life may take you. Feelings change. That shirt you left on the bed? The toothbrush in the drawer? The movie in the dvd player? It’s much more difficult to get back after someone has become a regret. Just take it with you unless you are sure you can live without it, or you can’t live without them.
-- Make a bucket list. Big dreams, little dreams, simple things, impossible things. Write it down and one thing at a time, do whatever you can in your life to get a step closer to making at least one dream come true. And when it does, work towards another. Some of the best feelings are those of accomplishment and self-pride.
-- Wear sunscreen. The temporary tan or burn isn't worth it. And every few years or so, porcelain skin is in.
-- Get to know yourself. Find your passions and strengths. Embrace them. Let them shine. "To thine own self be true". Follow your dreams, not someone else's. Go where you want to go, and don't let anyone make you feel guilty for being "selfish"...this is after all, YOUR life.
-- And lastly (for now), don’t be afraid to make mistakes. As my hero Bob Ross said, “There are no mistakes, only happy accidents.” How true, how true. Chin up. And if by chance embarrassment creeps up on you, just think of me today...It is my 1st day back at college (University of Wisconsin - La Crosse), after taking a break for a few years. 1st day, 1st class, I was in the wrong room. Right next door to the correct room. I might as well have been living that “naked in front of an audience” nightmare. Talk about awkward. I’m 27 and maybe returning to college was too lofty of a goal....I should have returned to Sesame Street first to review my numbers.
Ahhh life.
