You're Out of Your Element, MK

Listening to: “Cool Kids” → Echosmith

Thinking about: The Big Lebowski

If only I knew what my element was, I’d like to be in it. Herein lies the daunting task that many of us face daily: fitting in.

What makes it most difficult is that at any given moment we can be playing a multitude of roles which we need to fit into.

Take me for example: daughter, sister, student, not just any student but a “non-traditional” student as I am older and returning to school, employee, support specialist, friend, girlfriend, to my boyfriend’s friends I am the new girlfriend of their guy friend who is also the ex-boyfriend to a girl they are still friends with (yeah that one is messy…), tenant, neighbor, stranger at the store or gas station or library or wherever….

My point is, I am one who wants to please everyone, and I want everyone to like me, all while being true to myself. But, WHO THE HECK AM I??!!?? I think it’s easy these days when “acting out our roles” to lose ourselves in them and the people surrounding them. You want to stand out and have people see and appreciate you for who you are, and yet you want to fit into their lives and have a sense of commonality. Conundrum!

How do you do both? Is it even humanly possible?

Well, it is and it isn’t, but more importantly, I have learned it doesn’t completely need to be.

I most likely will never “fit in” with the cool kids I attend college with and I don’t want to (at 28, I am 6-10 years older than most of them….ugh). But being the loner in the corner doesn’t go well when you have group projects. They don’t need to know how old I am, nor do we need to hang out on Thirsty Thursday. But I can still be my quirky, sweet self and have classroom friends.

I am my boyfriend’s girlfriend and he does love me completely for who I am. Which is a wonderful thing. And while it is important for family and friends of a significant other to like you and vice versa, just as in every aspect of life, not everyone will. Especially if they are still friends with his “super awesome and nice” ex girlfriend…(HEY!!! GUESS WHAT??!?!? I’M SUPER AWESOME AND NICE!). This one is a bit tough…I have learned on a couple first impression expeditions that maybe my quirky side might just have a bit to much quirk to it for some people (especially when mixed with alcohol…). So, you can and should be yourself, but maaaaaybe tone it down a bit the first couple of times until you really get to know a person, understanding their possible loyalties to both your significant other and their ex. All in all, if the two of you love each other, truly make each other happy, and are undeniably good for each other, most everyone will come around. And if they don’t, it’s a battle that’s just not worth fighting.

When it comes to work (and neighbors and strangers and every other person on the list), this one is much the same, with an extra dose of common sense. Be respectful. Be professional. Don’t swear. Using proper English is always a plus. Unless you have this person’s job, then throw it all out the window and let yourself loose! Wooooo!

Conclusion? Don’t lose yourself, embrace yourself. Don’t compromise your beliefs, desires, or feelings for someone else, but do be aware and respectful of the situation. There have been plenty of times I have spent the entire day holding in a temporary and sudden onset of turrets, letting it all out upon entering my tiny, thin-walled apartment (sorry neighbors…).

WE, my friends, ARE cool kids. And don’t you forget it!

Find you, find your element, and GET IN IT!