Fear and Awkwardness in Wisconsin

Nothing in life is to be feared.  It is only to be understood.  ~Marie Curie



Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it.  ~Bill Cosby

To fear is one thing.  To let fear grab you by the tail and swing you around is another.  ~Katherine Paterson, Jacob Have I Loved

To conquer fear is the beginning of wisdom.  ~Bertrand Russell

clumsiness? check.

lack of confidence? check.

awkward? check.

suddenly a first-time victim of fainting spells and panic attacks? check.

In 5th grade, a 6th grader (who’s name I definitely remember and is NOT a Facebook friend!) told me in gym class that I run funny. At lunch she told me I chewed funny.

I’m fairly certain this was the closest I ever had to being bullied, which is by no means complaint-worthy at all, but it has clearly and pathetically stuck with me.

I have a fear of gyms and have never (since once in High School) signed up for any type of exercise class. As I begin to notice aging and post-breakup changes in my body, I’ve decided it’s really time to get over my childhood self-esteem issues and actually take care of myself.

I haven’t worked out in 3 years. The closest thing I’ve had to exercise was 1 Level 1 video session of “The Biggest Loser Yoga” 4 months ago. I usually eat fairly healthy but certainly have my more-than-fair share of Wisconsin foods: beer, cheese, and fried anything.

So I signed up for a Tuesday night 7 week Yoga class downtown.

(If you remember from my “Zero Score and 7 years ago...” blog, this is #3 on the Bucket List (aka “Fulfilling My Dreams”/”Finally Feeling Alive”/”Get Out of Rock Bottom” List))

It starts tomorrow.

I am a ball of panic attacking nerves. I want to throw up. I’ll probably just end up shaking and hyperventilating.

But it’s good to get out of one’s comfort zone. It increases metabolism. Or something.

And of course I have an “Up and At ‘Em - Motivate Me” playlist.

1. Tap the Phone --> Francis and the Lights

2. Wonder --> Dan Black

3. Tonight is the Night --> Outasight

4. Dynamite --> Taio Cruz

5. La Belle et la Bete --> Big Soul

6. E-Pro --> Beck

7. Feel So Close --> Calvin Harris

8. You Make Me Feel --> Cobra Starship

9. Blurred Lines --> Robin Thicke

10. Sail --> AWOLNATION

11. Undercover Martyn --> Two Door Cinema Club

12. My Body --> Young the Giant

13. Walking On A Dream --> Empire of the Sun

14. Safe and Sound --> Capital Cities

15. Carried Away --> Passion Pit

16. Burn it All Down --> VHS or Beta

17. Fall Down --> will.i.am

18. Anything Could Happen --> Ellie Goulding

19. Embers --> Just Jack

20. Terminally Chill --> Neon Indian

Listen.

And Get Up and Get Motivated!

lose your inhibitions.

Do Something.